Abuse Restricts My Worship-Testimony | Word Empowerment Ministries

I remember sitting in church, and the Praise & Worship Team sang a beautiful worship song. Tears were rolling down my face, and I lifted my hands to worship God. Midway into lifting my hands, I grunted in pain because my arms were sore. It was not because I had been exercising or had lifted an object that was too heavy for me. Two days prior, I had to protect myself from my spouse’s abuse. You see, right then and there, “abuse restricted my worship,” the very thing that could bring healing to my bruised and battered soul was hindered by my pain.

Let me start from the beginning. I was working in retail and began a friendship with a co-worker. I started liking him because he was such a gentleman, and he had it all together, so I thought. We started dating, and I thought I had found the man I would spend the rest of my life with. Later in the relationship, I began to see that he was jealous and controlling. I thought it was because he loved me and wanted to protect me. I was wrong-very wrong. As the relationship progressed, he began to be abusive. I wanted to get married so bad that I overlooked all of that. When your self-esteem is low, and you think getting married will give you the validation you need, you will close your eyes to the writing on the wall. Can I tell you that the very night before he asked me to marry him, the argument escalated from verbal to physical? People told me he was not the one, but I would not listen. I married him, and after we returned from our honeymoon, I said to myself, “this was a mistake.” The physical and verbal abuse intensified.

About four years into the marriage, I gave birth to a baby boy. I asked myself, “Is this the atmosphere you want him to grow up in - do you want him to think abusing a woman is okay? I prayed, and God gave me the strength to leave. When I stepped to the other side of the door, I heard these words, “shake the dust off your feet.” I’m not going to tell you that everything was perfect after I left, but what I can tell you is that my healing process began. I remember I was at a stoplight one day, and it hit me that I was free! I wanted to jump out of that car, lift my hands, and yell, “I AM FREE!” I honestly thought I would never laugh again. I thought I would never be out of that pit of despair and depression. I had to share my testimony because I wanted someone to know that you will be healed, you will dream again, you will be free of the pain of your past, you will laugh again, you will breathe again, you will love yourself again, and you will fulfill your God-given purpose.